I am driving myself crazy.
Forget yourself! The moment you forget yourself you feel immediately happy.
At night, in the depth of dreamless sleep, your sense of being dissolves and you are incredibly happy. The moment you lose yourself in something, in music, in sport or work – all those moments that ‘you’ are not – there is instant happiness. However, you are so often caught up in yourself, you keep spinning around in thoughts, you become sick and tired of it!
You believe that you are defined and ruled by thoughts and feelings. Therefore, you feel under pressure, tense, sad, frustrated, angry or fearful. You are distressed because there appears to be a problem, and you try to find a solution for it, hoping that life will get better.
Working so hard to free yourself from this tangle, you do not realise that you have made the problems yourself. It is all made out of images glued together. And within that same field of images you attempt to free yourself from your pain.
Thoughts come and go. It is your identification with them that makes you suffer. You – your true self – are not a thought but availability for thoughts. How can you be a thought that is now already gone? Everything is imagined. There is nothing at all. And exactly no-thing is your freedom.
Be vigilant and catch the moment when you fool yourself and assign reality to images. Until you see this you are living a mental life, steered and restricted by your beliefs. You think that you are the one making choices in your life, but these choices are determined by fear, resistance and assumptions.
Stop assuming, and stop hanging out in conviction and belief. What do you need a belief for anyway? Move from believing to seeing. Open your eyes, open your mind and your heart. Free yourself from delusion and no longer deny who you truly are and have always been.
Wake up! Be a light for yourself, for your family, your friends and the world. Your true nature is free, free from every burden and all suffering.
So I’ve really been throwing my life away.
Your whole life, with everything you have experienced, has brought you to this moment. Only a few people on earth have the opportunity to hear this teaching, to hear this at least once. You have heard it now: you are free, you are love, you are whole, you lack nothing.
What do you want, what do you honour, what is your heart’s call, do you live it? Is there love and joy in your friendships and family, or do you feel relieved to go home after meeting them? Is it a pleasure to go to work and do you return home content? Do you live what is really important to you? What do you really want?
There are no conditions for your awakening. You do not need to be intelligent, or young, healthy or highly educated. No matter who you are, no matter what your life situation, choice is available. Every moment you have a choice, even in your dying. Do you want to die in love or in anger? What do you choose now? It is up to you.
So am I making choices or not?
As long you think that you have a choice: choose the best. There is no escape from making choices. You may try to avoid it, but your very attempt to not choose is your choice.
However, living surrender, you will notice this subject is no longer relevant. Until that time: choose what empowers you, choose what frees you, what brings joy, compassion and love in your life.
Everyone experiences rough and smooth passages of life. Enjoy the pleasurable ones, celebrate them and be grateful. And the challenging ones, that wring you out and affect you painfully, let them serve you, allow them to take you to wisdom and compassion. These are the moments to find the warrior in yourself. The warrior does not give up. She remains vigilant and insists on finding love. Right here, always.
Love demands everything, and love gives everything. Give your life to love and see how it cleanses, how it is liberating and it is light, light of heart. The light is impersonal and always available. You are light, how could it ever be away from you?
And that means…?
When you see this, you realise that every moment of your life is a golden opportunity. No longer investigate what is happening – experience it. Find the strength and humility to fully live all moments. Heaviness and density dissolve and space fills your being. Your need to declare certain ideas or feelings as forbidden territory has fallen away. Pain is no more denied or suppressed. The battle has been fought.
Simply be present. Attend to every moment and be willing to experience it. Life comes, and life goes – in You. Your true Self is changeless, free of time and duration. Your true Self is free from any conviction, philosophy or culture. How exquisite to live this untainted freedom – so neutral, so natural and universal.
